OT - For the animal lovers: put my dog to sleep
06-21-2010, 09:31 PM
#1
Rennlist Member
Thread Starter
OT - For the animal lovers: put my dog to sleep
Warning: Ramblings from the heart
It almost seems to be a Rennlist rite of passage to do this on the OT board, but I know many of you much better and like the idea of immortalizing my dog here on Rennlist. I recently put down the coolest pup on the planet, my 14 year old (maybe 15) Doberman-black lab mutt, Rudy. He had degenerative myelopathy, a progressive, incurable, neurological disorder that affected the balance and strength of his rear legs. The disease had progressed to the point where he could not walk anymore. I tried a cart, but since there was too much pressure on his hips, he was in pain. I tried a change in his diet as per some internet searches but nothing helped.
He was the best, most chilled dog you could find and was a rescue dog from the local SPCA. Originally adopted by a family who had small kids, he had a jumping "problem" and would land his front paws on your chest as he greeted you. The first family returned him, their loss and my total gain. My solution to his so-called issue? I bought a book on dog training, used a low, alpha male voice and told him "No jump!". He stopped jumping within twenty minutes! The first month that I got him, I was dismantling a 4'x4' deck platform with a friend. We had to flip the deck over, and it came crashing down about ten feet away from my then-new-to-me dog. Rudy just blinked and continued to sniff whatever smell was in the air. He almost never barked, so when I first got him, I wasn't sure if he even had a voice. He was smart, too. I sometimes expected him to finish reading my Newsweek and would actually be surprised when he would act like a dog. He could balance treats on his nose, waiting for the command to be released and would catch the morsel in mid-air. He was once at Andreas' house chasing Andreas' dog Roxy 'round and 'round the house. After the third lap, Rudy took a short cut through some trees and caught Roxy. He knew how to get his leash when asked and would wait patiently while I got ready for our walks. if I took too long, he would yell (not bark) at me. It always made me laugh. He was an incredibly low maintenance dog and could be at the house for twelve plus hours before he had to go (never pooped or pissed in the house). I had him off-leash whenever possible. If he didn't see me, he would panic and start looking for me. I would play hide-and-seek with him and make him find me. I used to call him 'boomerang' because I would let him chase the deer in the back yard and then call him back. He would listen to the command and return, tracing a wide arc like a boomerang. When I came in the front door and called his name, his whole body would quiver with excitement as he looked at me. He hated radio-controlled cars.
He was the perfect track dog. I took Rudy to events from Summit Point to VIR to CMP, and he made friends everywhere he went. People who weren't "dog people" were drawn to him and commented on how laid back and well-mannered he was. At VIR, I wasn't sure if the track was cool with dogs, so I covered him from head to tail with a blanket and made him lie down while we went through the gate registration. Unmuffled cup cars would ripsaw the morning air, and he would just lie there like it was a normal, everyday thing for him. When I went out for a session, my friends said he would look in the direction that I left, waiting for me to come back. At the event dinners, he would sit or lie down next to me, surrounded by the scent of bountiful human-food and always waited patiently for his portion. I snuck him into hotels like we were on a guerrilla mission, hanging back while the staff or witnesses vacated the parking lot, avoiding the security cameras, hoping to not get caught.
The vet came to the house and put him down in the living room. I was holding him when he died and have been deeply affected by his death. As the life literally dropped from his body and his eyes went glassy, I thought "No, no, no. I've made a mistake. I want him back, I'll never see him again!" but that door closed forever as those panicked thoughts went through my head. Excruciating. I know letting him go was the right thing for him, but his mind was 110% fine, so it kills me that he had no idea that that day was to be his last. In the last few weeks of his life, he ate steak, hamburger (he loved ground beef!), went for rides and, if it were possible, got even more love than before. I savored every instant and recorded his last moments either on video, digital stills or good ol' 120 format color neg film or medium format Polaroids, taken with my trusty but archaic Hasselblad ELD.
The pain has been unbelievable; I was crying about twelve times a day. He was my best friend and has left a tremendous vacuum in my life. I thought he was a gorgeous dog and literally fell in love with him every day, so I can't believe that he's gone from my physical life. All I have now are memories, photos and video. I've been spoiled by this dog and know it will be very difficult to ever find one as independent, loving and talented as he was.
It almost seems to be a Rennlist rite of passage to do this on the OT board, but I know many of you much better and like the idea of immortalizing my dog here on Rennlist. I recently put down the coolest pup on the planet, my 14 year old (maybe 15) Doberman-black lab mutt, Rudy. He had degenerative myelopathy, a progressive, incurable, neurological disorder that affected the balance and strength of his rear legs. The disease had progressed to the point where he could not walk anymore. I tried a cart, but since there was too much pressure on his hips, he was in pain. I tried a change in his diet as per some internet searches but nothing helped.
He was the best, most chilled dog you could find and was a rescue dog from the local SPCA. Originally adopted by a family who had small kids, he had a jumping "problem" and would land his front paws on your chest as he greeted you. The first family returned him, their loss and my total gain. My solution to his so-called issue? I bought a book on dog training, used a low, alpha male voice and told him "No jump!". He stopped jumping within twenty minutes! The first month that I got him, I was dismantling a 4'x4' deck platform with a friend. We had to flip the deck over, and it came crashing down about ten feet away from my then-new-to-me dog. Rudy just blinked and continued to sniff whatever smell was in the air. He almost never barked, so when I first got him, I wasn't sure if he even had a voice. He was smart, too. I sometimes expected him to finish reading my Newsweek and would actually be surprised when he would act like a dog. He could balance treats on his nose, waiting for the command to be released and would catch the morsel in mid-air. He was once at Andreas' house chasing Andreas' dog Roxy 'round and 'round the house. After the third lap, Rudy took a short cut through some trees and caught Roxy. He knew how to get his leash when asked and would wait patiently while I got ready for our walks. if I took too long, he would yell (not bark) at me. It always made me laugh. He was an incredibly low maintenance dog and could be at the house for twelve plus hours before he had to go (never pooped or pissed in the house). I had him off-leash whenever possible. If he didn't see me, he would panic and start looking for me. I would play hide-and-seek with him and make him find me. I used to call him 'boomerang' because I would let him chase the deer in the back yard and then call him back. He would listen to the command and return, tracing a wide arc like a boomerang. When I came in the front door and called his name, his whole body would quiver with excitement as he looked at me. He hated radio-controlled cars.
He was the perfect track dog. I took Rudy to events from Summit Point to VIR to CMP, and he made friends everywhere he went. People who weren't "dog people" were drawn to him and commented on how laid back and well-mannered he was. At VIR, I wasn't sure if the track was cool with dogs, so I covered him from head to tail with a blanket and made him lie down while we went through the gate registration. Unmuffled cup cars would ripsaw the morning air, and he would just lie there like it was a normal, everyday thing for him. When I went out for a session, my friends said he would look in the direction that I left, waiting for me to come back. At the event dinners, he would sit or lie down next to me, surrounded by the scent of bountiful human-food and always waited patiently for his portion. I snuck him into hotels like we were on a guerrilla mission, hanging back while the staff or witnesses vacated the parking lot, avoiding the security cameras, hoping to not get caught.
The vet came to the house and put him down in the living room. I was holding him when he died and have been deeply affected by his death. As the life literally dropped from his body and his eyes went glassy, I thought "No, no, no. I've made a mistake. I want him back, I'll never see him again!" but that door closed forever as those panicked thoughts went through my head. Excruciating. I know letting him go was the right thing for him, but his mind was 110% fine, so it kills me that he had no idea that that day was to be his last. In the last few weeks of his life, he ate steak, hamburger (he loved ground beef!), went for rides and, if it were possible, got even more love than before. I savored every instant and recorded his last moments either on video, digital stills or good ol' 120 format color neg film or medium format Polaroids, taken with my trusty but archaic Hasselblad ELD.
The pain has been unbelievable; I was crying about twelve times a day. He was my best friend and has left a tremendous vacuum in my life. I thought he was a gorgeous dog and literally fell in love with him every day, so I can't believe that he's gone from my physical life. All I have now are memories, photos and video. I've been spoiled by this dog and know it will be very difficult to ever find one as independent, loving and talented as he was.
Last edited by Mark in Baltimore; 06-22-2010 at 01:31 PM.
06-21-2010, 09:42 PM
#2
Mark, I feel for you, friend. It's very hard not to get choked up when I think about your experience, as it makes me think of my old dog.
I had a dog from the time I was 4 years old until I had to put him to sleep when I was 19. "Good-Guy" (hey, I named him when I was 4!), was an Old English sheepdog type mutt and my constant companion and best friend during a childhood filled with divorce, moving and other tumult. That, at a time when I didn't make friends as easily.
I know I waited way too long to take Good-Guy to the vet when it was time to say good-bye, and he could no longer walk either when I did so. Piling him into the wheelbarrow I had, and walking him to the vet was the longest walk I've ever made.
Although I was 19 when this happened, I'd never remembered a time where we weren't together. I cried a lot during that time, and was deeply affected by his passing for a long, long time. It's been over 20 years, and it still stays in my memory. I've not owned another dog since. Maybe I will one day.
Since then, I've had many people pass in my life, including my Dad. But of all those I hope to see when I leave this place, it's my dog I hope to see.
The sadness you'll feel is the price you pay for all the joy you brought one another. It sounds like you, too, had a great friendship. And for that, you're both very lucky.
Best of luck to you during this time, Mark.
I had a dog from the time I was 4 years old until I had to put him to sleep when I was 19. "Good-Guy" (hey, I named him when I was 4!), was an Old English sheepdog type mutt and my constant companion and best friend during a childhood filled with divorce, moving and other tumult. That, at a time when I didn't make friends as easily.
I know I waited way too long to take Good-Guy to the vet when it was time to say good-bye, and he could no longer walk either when I did so. Piling him into the wheelbarrow I had, and walking him to the vet was the longest walk I've ever made.
Although I was 19 when this happened, I'd never remembered a time where we weren't together. I cried a lot during that time, and was deeply affected by his passing for a long, long time. It's been over 20 years, and it still stays in my memory. I've not owned another dog since. Maybe I will one day.
Since then, I've had many people pass in my life, including my Dad. But of all those I hope to see when I leave this place, it's my dog I hope to see.
The sadness you'll feel is the price you pay for all the joy you brought one another. It sounds like you, too, had a great friendship. And for that, you're both very lucky.
Best of luck to you during this time, Mark.
06-21-2010, 09:44 PM
#3
Three Wheelin'
Mark:
I recently went through the same thing. I described the feeling to people in the days afterward as being like "walking between walls of steel". The pain was unbearable. Even now, reading your experience, it comes right back.
He will leave an unfillable hole in your heart. Tough as it is, that's the way it's meant to be. It shows how much you both meant to each other.
We take these guys into our hearts, knowing that eventually this day will come. When it gets tough, the notion of 'Rainbow Bridge' helps me. I truly believe we will see them again.
Take care,
Barry
I recently went through the same thing. I described the feeling to people in the days afterward as being like "walking between walls of steel". The pain was unbearable. Even now, reading your experience, it comes right back.
He will leave an unfillable hole in your heart. Tough as it is, that's the way it's meant to be. It shows how much you both meant to each other.
We take these guys into our hearts, knowing that eventually this day will come. When it gets tough, the notion of 'Rainbow Bridge' helps me. I truly believe we will see them again.
Take care,
Barry
06-21-2010, 09:51 PM
#4
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My wife and I have been thru it more times than we can count (at least 12 times) over the years. Unfortunately, Saint Bernards usually don't make it to 10 yrs old.
It doesn't get any easier, but in the end, it comes down to doing the one thing for your dog that it can not do for itself.
Given the fact that a dog gives you a lifetime of loyalty and companionship, it is the least you can do when the time comes and not think of yourself.
My wife cries for days, she sleeps with the dog's collar and eventually comes back to normal. A new dog enters the household pack and the cycle repeats.
I usually just read "The Rainbow Bridge" and hope that it is in fact true.
My condolences.
It doesn't get any easier, but in the end, it comes down to doing the one thing for your dog that it can not do for itself.
Given the fact that a dog gives you a lifetime of loyalty and companionship, it is the least you can do when the time comes and not think of yourself.
My wife cries for days, she sleeps with the dog's collar and eventually comes back to normal. A new dog enters the household pack and the cycle repeats.
I usually just read "The Rainbow Bridge" and hope that it is in fact true.
My condolences.
06-21-2010, 10:01 PM
#5
Three Wheelin'
I am very sorry for your loss Mark. Looking back at my shih tzu right now and not looking forward to suffering through this.
Screw the OT board. We're your peeps. Keep it in the family.
dave
Screw the OT board. We're your peeps. Keep it in the family.
dave
06-21-2010, 10:03 PM
#7
Three Wheelin'
That's a awful good looking boy there Mark. It is amazing the bond we make with these animals. I think you know he is a better place. Sorry for your pain.
I know this pain all too well. We lost our boy on June 30, 2009 almost 1 year ago from today. Tiberius was our heart dog. We we not lucky enough to have children of our own, so we have dogs. We got Ty on my 40th birthday from the Boulder humane society. This dog was the best thing my wife and I ever did together. Ty suffered bone cancer which is extremely painful. The vet want to take his leg. We did not think that a 12 yo dog would survive the surgery. The cancer was spreading like fire.
On his last day Mary and I spent the entire day with him. We did all his favorite things. We went swimming, had ice cream and hung out in his favorite park. We too had the vet come to the house. I will never forget him leaving this life.
Ty was awesome dog and sounds like your boy Rudy was too.
Your story makes me cry.
Sorry man.
Bob-
I know this pain all too well. We lost our boy on June 30, 2009 almost 1 year ago from today. Tiberius was our heart dog. We we not lucky enough to have children of our own, so we have dogs. We got Ty on my 40th birthday from the Boulder humane society. This dog was the best thing my wife and I ever did together. Ty suffered bone cancer which is extremely painful. The vet want to take his leg. We did not think that a 12 yo dog would survive the surgery. The cancer was spreading like fire.
On his last day Mary and I spent the entire day with him. We did all his favorite things. We went swimming, had ice cream and hung out in his favorite park. We too had the vet come to the house. I will never forget him leaving this life.
Ty was awesome dog and sounds like your boy Rudy was too.
Your story makes me cry.
Sorry man.
Bob-
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06-21-2010, 10:11 PM
#10
Damn.....I had just got done yelling at my dogs for doing what they know....barking. I was too busy under a car to get my *** up and let them in, so in frustration I get pissed at them and yell.
Come back out here and see this thread, read it, then went back in for a few minutes of puppy love.
I'm so sorry to hear this, I dread the day I will have to put mine down.
Thanks for posting so dumbass will think a bit more before yelling at mine. Time is too short.
Come back out here and see this thread, read it, then went back in for a few minutes of puppy love.
I'm so sorry to hear this, I dread the day I will have to put mine down.
Thanks for posting so dumbass will think a bit more before yelling at mine. Time is too short.
06-21-2010, 10:15 PM
#11
Race Director
Sorry to read this Mark. It sounds like the same thing that took my first German Shepherd, Tasha. I put her down on Father's Day 1997. Father's Day is not a pleasant time for me (no kids, just dogs). I could not believe how much I cried that day.
I too hope Tasha is waiting for me on the other side. Wish you all the best.
I too hope Tasha is waiting for me on the other side. Wish you all the best.
06-21-2010, 10:17 PM
#12
Rennlist Member
Mark ,
My (and my wifes) condolences...... While our pup is only 3, I cant bear the though of when his day comes (sitting here with tears).... They really do become part of the family....
It sounds like you did what is best for HIM which is sometime the hardest, Im sure he thanks you.
My (and my wifes) condolences...... While our pup is only 3, I cant bear the though of when his day comes (sitting here with tears).... They really do become part of the family....
It sounds like you did what is best for HIM which is sometime the hardest, Im sure he thanks you.
06-21-2010, 10:28 PM
#13
Rennlist Member
It hurts...The heartache, the void, the silence, the absence of fur...But there are memories, wonderful memories that will last a lifetime. There will never be another quite like him but there are so many out there that need a good, safe home and, in return, will give love, devotion and more great memories.
06-21-2010, 10:48 PM
#15
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I feel your pain. I've gone through this a couple of times, and it is terrible. Our current Yorkshire Terror is 7, so hopefully we have some more good years together.
http://www.readprint.com/work-970/Th...udyard-Kipling
http://www.readprint.com/work-970/Th...udyard-Kipling