silotwo

Just thought I'd share with the community that there are some things in my life that put Porsche ownership in a different perspective for me. In the past I would stress about folks parking too close to me, tailgating me on the road, trying to prove to me that their car was just as fast if not faster than mine, or even that new spot of tar on the fender a day after I detailed the car.

Over the past few years I have been developing more of a "so what" attitude towards things, including the cars.

My wife has Ovarian cancer and after two major surgeries and devastating chemotherapy she was in remission for the past three years. Two weeks ago we noticed that she was in really bad pain, pain so bad she couldn't hide it from us any longer so we pushed her in the car and off to the ER we went. After spending the night with tests and more tests she entered surgery to have her gall bladder removed. What a relief, just the gall bladder, not cancer....or so we thought.

This week we were informed that they removed a tumor from her diaphragm during the surgery and that the biopsy came back positive for Ovarian cancer. Next step is a PET scan this week and then it will be to make decisions around treatment options. We knew since the initial surgeries that she has an aggressive form of cancer and that recurrence was virtually assured and that in any event she will not survive this.

My wife is devastated, as are our three children and myself. We talked tonight and I did my best to present her with the strongest message of faith and hope but in the end she looked me in the eye and simply said "who are you f**king kidding". And she is right.

So in the face of this reality; stressing about the lack of a job, my own medical issues, or about anything we own, including cars, is simply meaningless.

Not looking for a pity party, just wanted to share and perhaps present a perspective that in the end, the shape of the headlights, the color of the car, or anxiety over a possible mechanical failure truly don't mean much. If you have your health then enjoy whatever else you have. Just keep in mind that everything is going to pass, and hopefully we will outlive the toys that we seem to give so much attention to. And sometimes it really helps to say "so what".

And lastly, tonight the kids were reminiscing about some events of the past that involved dear old dad. Quite of few of their memories is how angry I used to get and they commented on how much I've changed, how I don't get so upset so easily these days. I didn't elaborate as to why I think they see the change, the reminiscing was an attempt to bring some lightheartedness into my wife's evening. What I did tell them is that I don't get so angry so easily these days because I finally learned that "Anger makes people stupid, say stupid stuff, and do even stupider things". That got a chuckle and agreement around the table.

Thanks for being here and if you are afraid to drive your car because it will get wet, just say "so what" and go for a ride.

nick49

Thanks for sharing. I learned a long time ago not to get upset over things that will not affect me 5 years from now.

Sorry to hear about your wife and I'm sure it will be difficult for you and your children as well. Take things in stride, live each day looking at the small, simple, beautiful and pleasant things around you. Realize you have no control over what the future may bring. Stay strong, focus on being positive, your attitude is everything and it is up to you to decide how you are going to get through this.

My best goes out to all of you.

GTOWN83

Thank you for the courage to share such an extraordinary challenge. My grandson passed away 90 days ago at age 6 from a rare form of lymphatic cancer; Lymphangiomatosis. It has been devastating. The existensial crisis I am enduring has led me to arrive at many of the same conclusions, specifically, being grateful for what I have today, which may not include anything material. Life has taught me that I will get through this, and every day is getting a little better than the day before. I thought about getting a personalized license plate, Caleb 6, in his memory. Time will tell. Good luck John, my thoughts are with you.

skiracer

Lots of positive Rennlist energy coming your way, silotwo, to help your family cope w/ your challenging situation. Perspective can be a wonderful thing to maintain life's priorities. I wish your wife the absolute best and pray for a recovery from such a nasty disease. Best of luck during these times...

jumper5836

Health is the most important thing for a happy life, a lot of people take it for granted and it only hits them when it strikes close to home.
Good luck and keep thinking positive and have faith. Until then make the best out of each day and enjoy your car.

thedugger1

I'm really sorry to hear what you've had to be dealing with, but thanks for sharing such an important lesson. Wisdom is the one positive outcome of tragedy. I utilize a career coach for my business and he often reminds me that when we're on our death beds, are we going to be wishing that we spent more time with our families/friends or that we should have worked more? In the case of this forum, if we only swapped out that IMS bearing our lives would have been better!

Most importantly, don't lose hope.

I noticed you are from NE PA, I was born in raised in "NEPA", actually writing this in Kingston now, so I know that you are surrounded by some great family and friends as the finest people I've ever met are from that area.

Best Regards.

Sneaky Pete

Your perspective is spot on. Somethings just to don't matter....maybe KK and I should go on a date and be nice to each other...nope.

Without getting deep.......I'm just very sorry.

5CHN3LL

It's just a car, stuff is just stuff. After living through cancer myself, I concur that your perspective changes. Whether or not you're a religious person (I'm not, my wife is), dealing with potentially terminal disease makes you realize that the stuff you were worried about before is petty and meaningless in the greater picture.

I'm sorry to hear the diagnosis and hope that it's overly pessimistic. I'm sure you'll do what's necessary as far as second opinions and aggressive treatment options to do what you can to ensure the best possible outcome. Cancer sucks, and cancers that refuse to stay put suck even worse. Best to your wife. I hope you guys get take a good drive in the 996 today - while true it's just a car, sometimes a blast with the windows down, music up, with the person you love can make even the biggest cares seem a little more distant.

5CHN3LL

When I was diagnosed with malignant melanoma in a body part (my head) where there isn't much tissue to cut away, I got the "don't plan anything out past six months" lecture from my doc. At the age of 31, that's a bitter pill, but I'm glad I learned that lesson earlier in life. I NEVER would have bought a Porsche before cancer - my parents are kids of depression kids, and my mantra had always been "save, save, save."

While it's crucial to be responsible and ensure that your family's needs are taken care of, realizing that scrimping every dime for a day that may never come is lunacy.

Once again, I'm so sorry to hear about your wife's diagnosis. If I had kids, I would try to convey the importance of preparing for tomorrow, but not at the expense of living happily today.

It stinks that it takes such sobering events to teach us lessons that seem obvious in hindsight.

If you haven't yet consulted with MD Anderson, you may want to consider it. They successfully treated my father's wife's cancer - an incredibly aggressive throat cancer - that her other MDs thought terminal.

WalterRohrl

Very sorry to hear your story, I hope it turns out better than you are expecting...Not that you asked but my vote is to ask the wife if she wants to have any particular experience and then if necessary sell one or both of the cars to make it happen. You (unfortunately due to your employment situation) have the time right now to do anything. Also, what is it that you do professionally? I'd imagine that whatever it is there is at least one other person on this board that is in the same field and could potentially help with that as well.
Good luck and thank you for sharing. It's about way more than the cars....

DreamCarrera

WOW, sorry to hear this John...You, your wife, and your entire family will be included in my prayers...best of luck to all of you and stay strong for your family.

Barn996

You nailed it silotwo, it really boils down to perspective, and loved ones will always bring it into focus the things that are really important. Hope that you and your wife will have a positive outcome.

alpine003

Definitely spot on. I mean look at a person like Steve Jobs, all that money and power yet health issues got in the way. I tell people all the time that their health is most important.

As for KK going on a date, I think the prerequisite before you can even think about it would be for him to take at least a 500 mile trip to show he's serious and doesn't just want a one nighter with you Pete.

Dennis C

I'm very sorry to hear about your wife. You're certainly right - something like this gives you a new perspective, and I think it is a reminder to all of us how lucky we are.

It's hard for me to imagine what you and your family are going through... and I wish all of you the very best.

silotwo

Thank each of you for your kind and thoughtful replies..... it truly helps - more than I can tell you.

PET scan tomorrow - things are pretty tense - best words I can use to describe how the wife is doing is a sense of hopelessness and despair. Doing my best to prop her up. Kids are handling it more through denial than anything else. I didn't mention this previously, we (primarily my wife) cared for her Father in his home when he was terminal with cancer, and cared for her Mother in our home when she was also terminal. They passed about 8 months apart and my Wife received her diagnosis 6 months later. Unfortunately, and against my express wishes, we, including our three children, witnessed both of her parents suffer and take their last breath. Very powerful and I am sure those memories are working on all of us.

As I remind my wife, it is whatever it is and no amount of worrying will improve the outcome. We will deal with it to whatever extent we must, did it before and we will do it again.

The "so what" attitude is working pretty well. The check engine light "drive to workshop" lit up today on the C4S - Porsche crate engine with 2,100 miles on it. Amazingly I didn't panic, just called the dealer and said I'd drop it off and whenever they get to it to let me know what they find.

I'll keep you posted, PET scan results aren't due until September 9th, we're trying to pull some strings to get the results sooner as we know they will be ready in 48 hours - the waiting will be hell.
Dealer said they might have time on Friday to check out the C4S.

Prayers gratefully accepted.

And I didn't steal my avatar from Dennis

John