Jlewis1436

As it says. My current battery was slowly starting to go and thought, well 15 minutes and let's just pop a new one in.

Yes the terminals are correct. I tried the old and the new battery and both gave the same issue.

As soon as you connect the battery, both headlight washers pop up and spray everywhere. The key isn't in the car. The lights are not on. Even if I pull the fuse to the washers, they won't pop up, but the pump still turns on. I have ZERO idea what to do from here. Help!

festina-lente

Maybe an old priest and a young priest? I'll see myself out...

Jlewis1436

If I thought it might work, I'd even get a spinning Dr Evil chair to go with them too

festina-lente

😆 Seriously, what happens when you start the car? Have you tried pressing the washer button while the engine is running?

Jlewis1436

I honestly didn't try. By default, they shouldn't work without a key in and the headlights on. 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Hootsama

Double check your battery position/terminal hook-ups to ensure you're not reversing polarity. I have heard that sort of demonic reaction can occur when terminals are backwards.

sandwedge

Try starting the car and drive it around the block to see what happens. I have changed a number of batteries on three 997's now and yes, strange things happen every time. Different warning lights come on and other things. So far, all the issues have been resolved by driving the car for a few minutes. If that doesn't help in your case I don't know what the problem is.

Petza914

Wow, that's super weird. When the old battery was dying, did you by chance have to jump start the car from another car or jump box?

Bruce In Philly

2009 C2S 197K miles

Hmmm..... in my miles, I've had the battery replaced/disconnected countless times and sometimes out of the car for a month and never had any kind of an issue. So.... maybe one of the computers is faulty. Do you have access to a Durametric? The first thing I would do is reset/reboot each computer module.

Peace
Bruce in Philly (now Atlanta)

Jlewis1436

So, after much head scratching and frustration, the issue is resolved, I exchanged the new battery and while I was out, at the suggestion of a Porsche Tech friend (who also had zero clue why it was happening), left the positive and negative battery cables touching (no battery in the car).

Installed the 2nd new battery, no issues at all! The strangest thing, but hey, it's fixed! Thanks for all the suggestions!

festina-lente

Wow, so simple yet so elusive! Glad it's fixed. Will add this to my "troubleshooting log."

ProductUser

I've written software for many decades across many industries and have seen my share of anomalies that resolved themselves without any kind of fix. All I can say is, "Whatever fixes itself, breaks itself."

Wayne Smith

I like the idea of removing the battery and them shorting the cables.

Bruce In Philly

2009 C2S 197K miles

Shorting them out is a way of draining any residual charges. I never thought about doing that for a car... never had the need I guess, but this is a common approach for electronics. Pull the plug out of the wall and press the power button... great for resetting electronics.

Peace
Bruce in Philly (now Atlanta)

r_towle

This technique drains all the memory in the computers so any long term error codes and settings finally get erased.

not a bad idea every time you change the battery.
its a very common way to get rid of CEL codes after replacing parts.