Soulteacher

All those guys switching to GT-Rs and Z06s got it all wrong. I got it right, because:

Bang for the Buck: Kia wins! Only $90 per horsepower... the 997 costs me $270.

Speed: Kia wins! It’s soooo much faster to type the car’s make and model when I write my friends about it... “Kia” instead of “Porsche” saves me four whole letters, and because of “Rio” instead of “911", I don’t even have to reach up to the top keys anymore.

Driving Flair: Kia wins! "RIO"... REEEEEOH... REEE HEEEE HEEEE OOOOH... it's like being at the Copacabana, massaged by bikini-wearing beach beauties.

Equipment: Kia wins! It comes with a spare tire!

Chick Magnet: Kia wins! I dig Asian women, and Asian women dig Asian cars. Everybody knows that.

Size and Weight: Kia wins! Even smaller and lighter than the 997!

Exclusivity: Kia wins! In CA, FL, and NY, there are more Porsches than Kia Rios.

Country of Origin: Okay, admittedly Korea doesn’t really cut it... so I’m telling everyone it's a Swedish car... Kia... Ikea... same thing.

Will post pics soon!

jcnesq

PCNA has read this post and has canceled your pending order.

buckwheat987

love the increases speed

all the best with the new ride

Hauser_III

Let's see, a member since 2005, with only 1,311 posts, and you come here to tell us that your KIA is superior in every way to our Porsches?????

ELUSIVE

Congrats!
I'd love to see some comparisons about how people treat you based upon the two vehicles.
I mean, you must get so much less attention. That would kill some people on here.

Bob Rouleau

well done. Bravo!

KeninBlaine

Good. Now, with the money saved, he can purchase a different color Kia for each day of the week, thus avoiding the problem many folks here seem to have, which is deciding what color Porsche to purchase.

Targa Tim

keep up with digging Asian women! but with a Kia, not sure what they will look like...

angelo1404

Your JOKING

mstams

Reminds me of something one of my co-workers told me one time.
Keep in mind that I live in TN, so you'll have to imagine the redneck accent...

Soulteacher

Thanks for the feedback!

So I picked up my new ride today (see photo - sorry for the low quality: cell phone pic). I went with the color "green" because of that new technology they are implementing throughout the U.S. to slow down the drivers of red sports cars; if you haven't heard about it, the traffic lights now respond to the color of your car and change accordingly! That will cut my commute into half. Haven't figured out yet what will happen if several green cars approach from different directions... or if you have a blue car.

The sound of the engine is badass, and it must be latest Korean, uh Swedish, technology: somehow the engineers managed this very cool trick... my engine only produces roaring sounds when I'm driving next to a sports car - the farther the sports car leaves me behind, the less of a badass sound my engine exhibits. Really cool, because if no one is around, I don't need that sound.

So, really, who needs a freaking Porsche if other cars are so superior...

cello

I was with you until you went all Barry Manilow. You at least could have picked Duran Duran........... Uh, wait, thats bad too.

KBS911

Great post. I've been wrong for so long but now I want a KIA!

Coochas

Congrats Wolfgang!
Are you planning on tracking it?

Let the mods begin!!!!!

THPorsche

Time to update your sig

<Wolfgang>
'09 997 C2 cab basalt/black/black - European Delivery on May 19, 2009
'07 997 C2 basalt/stone - Techart III wing - Bilstein springs - H&R spacers
'06 997 C2S cab seal/stone/black - sold